Tink's Wink's

Little Thursday Humor

2006-06-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

Hi I know I havn't posted in awhile.
Thought we could all use some humor
today though. However, only two because
they're so long. K?

#1

>Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each
>other outside the operating room.
>
>The first kid leans over and
>Asks, "What are you in here for?"
>
>The second kid says, "I'm in here to
>Get my tonsils out and I'm
>A little nervous."
>
>The first kid says,
>"You've got nothing to worry about. I had that Done when I was four.
>They put you to sleep, and when you wake up They give you lots of
>Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
>
>The second kid then asks, "What
>Are you here for?"
>
>The first kid says, "A circumcision."
>
>"Whoa!", the
>Second kid replies. "Good luck buddy. I had that done When I was
born.
>Couldn't walk for a year."

#2

The $100 TATTOO
> Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda,
> says, "Where in the hell have you been?"
> Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo.
> "A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you
> Get?"
> I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said
> proudly.
> "What the hell were you thinking?" she said, Shaking
> her head in disdain.
> "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred Dollar
> bill tattooed on his privates?"
> "Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.
> Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
> Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
> And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you
> can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks
> anytime you want."

> Larry is recovering in room 232 at John Hopkins
> Hospital
>
>

Happy Birthday NIk!!!!

2006-06-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th Birthday Nik!!!!

We love you!

Christian, Adayn, Candace

When will it end?!?!

2006-05-31T14:53:00.000-07:00

Ok I havn't posted in quite awhile
because of a snowball effect. First, my
computer crashed & didn't have internet
access for over two weeks. I lost my closest
friend, which I cry about everyday. Then my kids
got sick w/tonsillitis, bronchittis, then swimmers
ear. Mr man & I were supposed to start counseling
however we seperated. His mom is borderline pneumonia.
Which is critical w/her because she already is so fraile.
Now today I found out my dog of almost 14 years probaly
has cancer. We have to go to a specialist, the veternarian
couldn't even do the normal tests there because how abnormal
the mass is. We have to go get an ultrasound. He's lost 9 pounds in
11 mths.

When will everything be better? When will all the hurt stop?
When can I have one day without crying? Man it's so hard...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

2006-04-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Erin. I am a BAD, BAD MILF for not
posting this sooner. Hope you had a wonderful Birthday!

Little Thursday Humor

2006-04-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

#1

Q: Why don't rabbits make noise when they fuck?
A: They have cotton balls.

#2

Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female drunk and passed out. Out of respect for the lady, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time.

The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, “What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?” “Well,” said the officer. “I am simply surprised. Normally when I look under a Yankees hat, I find an asshole.”

#3

Two young boys walk into a pharmacy and pick out a box of tampons. The man at the checkout counter asks the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," he replies. The man continues, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy replies, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my little brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you can swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one."

Hope you laughed a little.:)

Tink's T-shirt Tuesday

2006-04-18T11:14:00.000-07:00

Today I thought I'd have a different subject.
My friends beautiful daughter Sidney.
Man she totally reminds me of myself
when I was younger. Thank goodness she's
better than I was.

Whatcha think you want one of these shirts?
Or do you want one for a co-worker or child?
LMAO...

Happy Easter!!!

2006-04-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter from Texas

A new approach to decorating eggs

Hope you had a wonderful Easter no matter where you were, or
whom you were with. I hope Mr Cottontail gave you a visit.LOL

Little humor Thursday

2006-04-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

#1

A blonde goes into a laundromat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn’t hear her correctly and says, “Come again?”

The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, “Oh, no it’s just mustard this time.”

#2

A Mom is driving her little girl to a friend’s house for a play date. “Mommy,” the little girl asks, “how old are you?”

“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother warns. “It is not polite.”

“Ok,” the little girl says. “How much do you weigh?”

“Now really,” the mother says, “these are personal questions, and really none of your business.”

Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and daddy get a divorce?”

“That is enough questions, honestly!” The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

“My Mom wouldn’t tell me anything,” the little girl says to her friend.

“Well,” said the friend, “all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card—it has everything on it.” Later that night, the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are. You are 32.”

The mother is surprised and asks, “How did you find that out?”

“I also know that you weigh 140 pounds.” The mother is past surprise and shocked now.

“How in heaven’s name did you find that out?”

“And,” the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce.”

“Oh really?” the mother asks. “And why’s that?”

“Because you got an F in sex.”

#3

A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to write with it.

She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake, she says, "Well that's great. Some asshole's got my pen."

Tink's T-shirt Tuesday

2006-04-11T14:07:00.000-07:00

Ok is it me or do you have that song stuck in
your head as well? It's almost Easter so I thought
I'd get into the holiday. I love Easter, everyone
seems less stressed & upbeat for the most part.
I need a new shirt though this one has seen better
days. TBG where's my weiner shirt?LOL This shirt can
have many meanings, ya think? Especially when my
name is Candace.

Whatcha think?

Little Thursday humor

2006-04-05T22:27:00.000-07:00

#1

Q: How do you circumcise a redneck?

A: Kick his sister on the chin.

#2

Q: What’s the square root of 69?

A: Eight something.

#3

Leaving the poker party, late as usual, two friends compared notes. "I can never fool my wife," the first complained. "I turn off the car’s engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone."

"You’ve got the wrong technique, my friend," his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on my wife’s ass, and ask, ’How ’bout a little?’ and she pretends to be asleep."

I hope you enjoyed my Thursday humor.

Tink's T-shirt Tuesday

2006-04-04T20:49:00.000-07:00

Man this chic needs a tan.

I know, I know it's almost Wednesday & I'm just
posting this. I was tied up, well I wish.LOL
Don't you LOVE martini's? YUMMY! I have a
beautiful martini purse, I used to have a pair
of bad ass martini shoes. However, Mr man
accidently threw them away. Actually I like
most alcoholic drinks that come in glasses
like the one on my shirt.

What's your favorite?
Like my shirt? Huh huh do ya?

Alec

2006-04-01T20:07:00.000-08:00

Alec was the boy you love, the witty boy next door.
He had his whole life ahead of him, but somehow, for
some higher reason he was taken from us. Alec loved
his little sister & brother & adored his mother. He was
home schooled(which he did most of himself) and he
watched his little sister(then 1) and brother(then 8)
alot of the time. This is no easy task for anyone to do,
much less a 12 year old. His brother is also autistic so
you can imagine the challenge for Alec. He was involved
in Boy Scouts, Tae Kwon Do, and embraced life w/such
enthusiasm. His mother was working hard to make ends
meet as a single mom so depended on Alec a bit.

Somehow though Alec committed suicide, he hung himself.
I wonder sometimes if this was on purpose or was this stupid
fucking game I found out kids play called the pass-out-game.
See Alec was in Cub Scouts, so he knew how to tie a knot.
However, the knot was loose when they found him. So I often
stay awake, crying & wondering was this really what he was trying
to do? Also, he was seeing a phyciatrist & they had prescribed
Wellbutrin. Anything I've ever read or seen says it amplifies suicide
in teenagers. Noone knows why this tragedy happened. I just
know that the world lost an incredible young man.

If you know anyone, young or old who needs help REACH
out people. Take the time!!!! Also, if you have young kids
find out more information on this game. Talking w/many
women in my moms group they played this as young as
junior high.

Please take a moment & pray or think about our Alec.

Little Thursday humor

2006-03-29T22:06:00.000-08:00

#1

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

#2-Aw if only it were that easy.LOL

Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways.

The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, “I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks.”

The second said, “You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don’t even have insurance!”

The third proclaimed, “Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!”

The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke out again, “Listen girls, I don’t think you understand. Chunks is my dog.”

#3-Hope noone gets offended.:)

Did you hear about the new paint color that’s coming out?

It’s called blonde.

It’s not very bright, but it spreads easy.

Tink's T-shirt Tuesday

2006-03-28T11:37:00.000-08:00

Yes late as usual. I had to wear the black bra
just for Kami. Gwen Stefani is awesome, I've
been to 2 of her concerts. Both of them rocked.
I've liked her when she first started out & people
just thought she was trying to be a Madonna. Well
I think she's proved everyone wrong. She not only
can sing, the girl puts on a hell of a show. Plus I also
have a huge crush on her. Anyway, whatcha
think? Would you wear it?

Funny Friday by Carrie

2006-03-24T13:17:00.000-08:00

Go check out what all the cool kids are
wearing.

Man...

2006-03-24T09:24:00.000-08:00

C-man crawling on the beach

C-man & mommy(yes my boobs were huge-I was pregnant & still breastfeeding)-I wish I still had them

C-man feeding the seagulls

Man I'm so daydreaming about the sun beating down on me
while I'm walking on the beach w/my barefoot toes sinking into
the sand. Waves coming up colliding w/my body. A little bit
of Heaven. Yes I HATE cold weather, at least the kind where
it's bitter cold you can't feel your toes, nose, or fingers. Plus
when it's that frickin cold where the hell is the snow? UGH!

So I leave you w/a few pictures taken awhile back that reminds
me of the last time I was @ the beach.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

2006-03-23T22:23:00.000-08:00

Kristine & RSG!

Little humor Thursday

2006-03-22T22:19:00.000-08:00

#1
A little girl came running into the house crying her eyes out and cradling her hand. “Mommy, quick! Get me a glass of cider!” she wailed.
“Why do you want a glass of cider?” asked mom.

“I cut my hand on a thorn, and I want the pain to go away.” Confused, but weary of the child’s whining, the mother obliged and poured her a glass of cider. The little girl immediately dunked her hand in it. “Ouch! It still hurts! This cider doesn’t work!” whined the little one.

“What are you talking about?” asked her increasingly perplexed parent.

“Well I overheard my big sister say that whenever her friend gets a prick in her hand, she can’t wait to get it in cider!”

#2

Q: How do you cure bedwetting?

A: With an electric blanket.

#3

The teacher says, “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.”
Little Johnny says to himself, “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m clever—that answer’s mine!”

The teacher asked, “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, “Abraham Lincoln,”

The teacher said, “That’s right, Susie, you can go.”
Johnny was mad. Susie had answered first.

The teacher asked, “Who said, ‘I Have a Dream’?”
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, “Martin Luther King.”

The teacher said, “That’s right, Mary, you can go.”
Johnny was even madder than before. Mary had answered first.

The teacher asked, “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, “John Kennedy.”

The teacher said, “Thats right, Nancy, you can go.”
Johnny was fuming. Nancy had answered first.

As the teacher sat down, Johnny muttered, “I wish these bitches had kept their mouths shut.”
The shocked teacher asked, “Who said that?”
Johnny jumped up and hollered, “Bill Clinton!!! See you Monday!”

New meaning for Braille

2006-03-22T21:51:00.000-08:00

Don't you...

2006-03-22T21:22:00.000-08:00

Adayn looking so innocent.

C-man knows he's a little toot.

Don't you just love kids. When I take my son to the
gynecologist he always of course has to play w/everything.
He especially loves the table & all the tampons in the changing
room. Yes my doctor calls him his little buddy & helper. Oh he
also has grabbed the nurse's butt & boobs. Hi ok maybe he already
knows what he wants to do, and of course Daddy goes to work high
fiving all the guys.

Anyway, my boys love to get into my stuff. I clean everyday
@ least an hour + easy. The boys LOVE to get into my drawers
(no pun intended) and get my tampons. Well they proceed to bite
them, yes this is where I got the idea to take their picture.
One because I thought it was hilarious and two blackmail
later on(like w/their girlfriends). Yes I thought as well gross, what
about TSS, if they bite through the plastic will it get big in their
mouths. No I don't let them eat through the package, and
no I don't use the ones they bite. However, they do this almost
everyday.

Tink's T-shirt Tuesday

2006-03-21T11:41:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was in kindergarten I LOVED this game.
I still remember this little boy I liked won the game
and I kissed him on the cheek(Brian was his name).

Oh let me tell you a bit of information about myself.
I still shop in the junior section, from Target to
Nordstrom. Yes I know I'm 32, but it makes me feel
better & the clothes are cute. I have to stay the MILF
right?

Anyway, whatcha think???

Feel Good Story

2006-03-20T21:31:00.000-08:00

If you didn't read the story I posted on
Wednesday please do. It will make you
smile or cry, or both.

Trang & Chuong's Wedding

2006-03-19T21:00:00.000-08:00

The wedding party.

The Beautiful Trang & her man.

Shahan, me, and Bobby

First off, let me just say Congrats to my favorite Nguyen couple.
Wow they finally did it, after seven years of dating. However, they
are babies still.

Let me tell you about my experience @ my first Vietnamese
wedding. First, I'll just tell you I HATE, HATE going to weddings
by myself. Mr man had to work, and my good friend Kami dissed
me royally. So here I go off to this Asian wedding where I knew
I'd probaly be the only round eye there. I even talked w/the bride
and groom minutes before the wedding & they said "don't be
late because you'll feel really weird". Um I would have rather
been naked @ the mall then what I felt. It was kind of like that
movie where that white guy walks into a all black bar. Uh-huh
all jaws dropped & eyes widened when this round eyed walked
in the door @ the grooms parents house, that's where the ceremony
was held. Oh I also found out later that wearing black meant bad
luck. So why the heck didn't my friend(the brides sister) tell me that
when she was telling me what to wear. I wore my new BCBG black
dress while everyone else looked like they were ready for the
Vietnamese prom. Hi yea naked @ the mall. The ceremony lasted
like 20 minutes, I understood all that was being said, NOT! Then
we all ate. Ok the whole deal starts early by the grooms family
bringing gifts to the brides house. Then they eat some, then the
ceremony, then they eat more, then go back to the brides
house & you guessed it eat more & get ready for the reception.

Luckily I did my research somewhat before I went to the reception.
It goes something like this, if the reception starts @ 6 any round eye
gets there @ 5:55. Where the smart Asians get there @ 7:30, well
we got there around that time & they still really didn't start until 8.
They have like a 10 course meal w/really yummy stuff(at least I think).
I was married and my husband was half Vietnamese & half Caucasian.
Here's the deal the bride & groom have to go to each table & talk & do
a shot of Courvoisier. The people @ the table hand them a red
envelope w/money in it. Let's just stop there for a minute, instead
of getting gifts, everyone gives them cash. That's fucking smart,
and yes I did the same(even had a red envelope). They usually can
receive like 40 g's. I got to sit @ the table w/the wedding party since
I'm friends w/all of them. Oh and Mr man came to the reception
w/me, but went to the car after about 30 minutes sick. Hi white girl
alone again, luckily in their culture they take shots like freakin water.
Yes my ass was taking shots of Courvoisier. That's usually a drink you
sip w/a cigar for like a hour or so, no it's more like 6 shots in a hour.

All in all it was a great wedding. They had about a hundred people
showed up. I'm glad I got to experience this affair, it was wonderful
cultural experience. The bride changes three times throughout
the day. She was exhausted they started @ 5 am getting ready & the
reception lasts till @ least midnight. So many of their relatives from
Vietnam were in attendance. I'm so happy for them, and Trang was
a GORGEOUS bride. Oh did I tell you I changed for the reception.
Yes I went & bought a new dress...

Test

2006-03-18T15:49:00.000-08:00

Steve-I did your test & was rated a 35% just like you.
Then I thought I'd try this one:

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Happy St Patricks Day!!!!

2006-03-17T00:25:00.000-08:00

My shit day

2006-03-17T00:01:00.000-08:00

Ok I've been really down lately for many
reasons, but to make it all worse I had a
REALLY bad day last Thursday. The kind of
day you know you shouldn't leave the house
days...

Well I'll give you a short version. It started by
my little angels(hehe) throwing temper tantrums
and doing everything from getting toilet water all
over the floor & themselves(including their hair) to
marking all over the couch w/pen. You get the picture,
this was before 8 am. Well I thought I'd help a friend who
needed a break desperately watch her two girls(3 & 2). No
big deal until my Mom called @ 8:30 & wanted to go to the
zoo. I told her as long as they could help me. So we were
going to the zoo, 8 children(10, 7, 5, 3, 2, 2, 1, 6mths) and
3 adults. Well my Mom wanted to take the Dart train(which I
thought it be better if I drove) but we took the train.

We get to the zoo & all the kiddos were excited & acting
like kids. Running & jumping & looking. Each one of the
girls were holding my nephews hands, Riley(3) was holding
Connors(10) & Beka(2) was holding Maison's(7). I swear if
you didn't know ages, they were boyfriend/girlfriend. Anyway,
Riley starts telling me her stomach hurt, it was WAY past her
lunch time so off to the restaurant we go. I spent &70 on chicken
nuggets, pizza, fries, and drinks @ the zoo. UGH! So we're sitting
there eating & Riley wants me to hold her, I say "Ok baby-girl let
me rub your belly". Um yea 2 minutes later she started puking all
over me. People I don't mean a little, like 10 times, I have NEVER
seen a person puke so much. I had puke fest when I was
pregnant, but NO comparison. I'm DRENCHED in this & have to
walk smooth through about 20 people who saw this, to go to the
bathroom. Needless to say I got sick while cleaning up. Then I cleaned
the table & chair, Riley only got a little on her hands. We put her in
one of the double strollers I rented & called her Mommy. Well after
talking to her, Beka, & everyone else they wanted to stay.
Here's where most people would of said "I'm fucking outta here".
I didn't want to ruin anyone's day, so I went to the gift shop to
purchase clothing that didn't smell worse than most of the
animals shit. NO LUCK. However, the nice lady there told me that
she had Windex & sprayed some on paper towels for me.
How sad is that. Windex smelt better than me.
Moving on...

We were going through the zoo, I'm trying hard to put on
my happy face, feeling like I peed in my pants. We went to the
petting zoo and finally it was time to leave. My Mom has my baby
and two other kiddos, my sister has her stroller, so my sister tells
Connor(10) to push the second stroller I rented. Well I was behind
him, he started to push it & around the corner somehow he lost
control & the stroller went into the water. No, no there weren't any
children in the stroller, well no human ones. All my stuff went into
the water, my new Dooney wallet, cell phone, and my precious
camera(better known as Kami's BAMF's sister). I fell to the ground
after I got my stuff out of the water & just started bawling like
a baby. I felt so numb, WHY??? So after much deliberation we
proceed to the exit, but first to change the kids diapers. I start
laughing, oh yea I can't they are soaked after falling in the water!!!!
It reminded me of that Thomas episode where the cars are laughing
at Thomas and say"he's falling in the water, hahaha". I just wanted
to click my heels & be home"there's no place like home". Mr man
couldn't even come get us because there was no way of fitting us all
in a car. So yes we had to ride the freakin train home. Why didn't I
listen to myself!!!

Thirty minutes later we got off the train, I'm sure everyone was
going "WTF is that horrible smell?" Oh did I tell you it was rush-hour
so all the people were getting off work & the train was packed.
We got off the train & I got in my car to take the girls home. I cried the
whole way home from my friends house to mine. I was scared to tell
Kami about lil sister. That in a nutshell was my day, there's more to the
story & it got worse. Just thought I'd tell you most of it. I'm still crying over it.

Little Thursday humor

2006-03-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

Quotes:

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty
things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still
have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows
where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman, "Where's
the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would
defeat the purpose.

7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing
sheets aren't going as ghosts, but as mattresses?

8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with
soap?

9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking
and there is no woman around to hear him . . . is he still
wrong?

10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill
himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

11. Is there another word for synonym?

12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do
"practice?"

13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating
an endangered plant?

15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his
wages?

16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid
someone will clean them?

18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or
naked?

19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the
right to remain silent?

22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank
machines?

23. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

24. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road
sign?

25. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they
taste funny?

26. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

27. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about
other people.

28. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be
able to say it.

29. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large
groups.

30. The older you get, the better you realize you were.

31. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

32. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with
yesterday.

33. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

34. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

35. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all
day.

36. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

37. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go
back to?

38. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery?

39. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience
sitting?

40. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

41. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to
drown too?

42. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still
#2?

43. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to
do it?

44. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be
hungry?

45. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

46. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at
them?

AFTER READING-LOOK BELOW!!!

Great story

2006-03-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

Have ya'll heard about this? This is truly a heartwarming
story. Also, today President Bush went to meet this kid.
Even those of you who do not care for him gotta give
him credit for that.

http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/news/story?id=2368193

make sure you watched both links.

Tink's T-shirt Tuesday

2006-03-14T12:36:00.000-08:00

Well I kinda cheated today because I have a problem
w/my camera. I'll post later tonight what that may be.
Anyway, I found this humorous. It was taken on Valentines
in 2004 when I used to be the boss. Yes I put chocolate hearts
in my sweater. Anyone else have a t-shirt to post? Hey it kinda
goes w/Kamis theme.LOL

Scary

2006-03-11T06:35:00.000-08:00

I came across this the other day...

Think about this the next time you buy gasoline!

Cindy Sheehan & Chavez

Venezuela Dictator Vows To Bring Down U.S. Government

Venezuela government is sole owner of Citgo gasoline company

Venezuela Dictator Hugo Chavez has vowed to bring down the U.S. government.
Chavez, president of Venezuela, told a TV audience: "Enough of imperialist aggression;
we must tell the world: down with the U.S. empire. We have to bury imperialism this century."

The guest on his television program, beamed across Venezuela, was Cindy Sheehan,
the antiwar activist. Chavez recently had as his guest Harry Belafonte, who called
President Bush "the greatest terrorist in the world."

Chavez is pushing a socialist revolution and has a close alliance with Cuban
dictator Fidel Castro.

Regardless of your feelings about the war in Iraq, the issue here is that we have
a socialist dictator vowing to bring down the government of the U.S. And he is
using our money to achieve his goal!

The Venezuela government, run by dictator Chavez, sole owner of Citgo gas co.
Sales of products at Citgo stations send money back to Chavez to help him in his vow
to bring down our government.

Take Action

Please decide that you will not be shopping at a Citgo station.
Why should U.S. citizens who love freedom be financing a dictator who has vowed to take
down our government?

Very important: Please forward this to your friends
and family. Most people don't know that Citgo is
owned by the Venezuela government.

Humor

2006-03-09T20:31:00.000-08:00

I've had a REALLY REALLY bad day but I thought
I'd share some humor instead:

Have you ever said something and then wished that you could immediately take the words back or crawl into a hole?
Here are six testimonials of those who did.

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget it.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and run amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day, we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No."

I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me," so I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"

"No," he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An older couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

SAFETY

2006-03-08T20:48:00.000-08:00

Why? Is it my child has NO NO fear? C-man is ALL boy + some.
He is always testing me, getting into things or doing something
he knows damn well he shouldn't. I've NEVER been SO FREAKED
out as I was Saturday.

We were playing in the living room, when Christian starting screaming.
I was no more than two feet away from him, getting Adayn out of
something.When I looked over there was my angel stuck, he had
been testing me & kept getting on the window sill. Well sure
enough he managed to fall & got the wooden blinds cord
wrapped around his neck twice. I lifted him up & untangled him.
I'm crying writing this, he was choking, his poor little neck had
a HUGE red mark, and he was bawling. Once I got him calmed
down & put ice on his neck like he wanted, that's when it hit me.
If I had been in another room my Christian wouldn't be here.

We had the blind cord way up & on a suction thing, but he
jumped & got it. I called daddy & I couldn't calm down, well he spent
Saturday & Sunday re child proofing our home. I mean we had it pretty
safe, but with my children, NOT ENOUGH. Then Monday while
on the phone w/Kami for 1min 15 sec my children both
managed to get in the lower oven. Adayn was all in there, while
Christian stood on it so he could reach the buttons on the top
oven to turn it on. WHY???? Since then I have control locks on all
the appliances. I'm telling you this boy has jumped in a
pool in October, Kami jumped in after him because I was
inside feeding the baby. Needless to say we won't be getting
a pool. That same month he was walking on a tarpe on a
hottub & fell in, ate a small lightbulb. I could go on & on
but I know you get where I'm coming from.

I don't know if I'm strong enough for this. I rebelled as a
teenager & did shit when I was a kid, but....

Re-look over your home & triple check the childproofing
of your home PLEASE! Thanks for listening.

Tink's T-shirt Tuesday

2006-03-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

I know, I know not as exciting as Titty Tuesdays...
However, as a newbie in this blog world I'd
thought I'd try something small first.LOL
At least for now I'll be posting a new t-shirt
every Tuesday & you LMK yes or hell NO.

The first one Mr Dallas K got me today in their
travels today.

Haircut

2006-02-28T21:07:00.000-08:00

This is what the stupid woman did to his hair. There's crazy Mr Dallas K

C-man w/his wonderful hair w/curls in the back.

C-man thinking he had to hide his hair.

How? Why? do they let people that cannot freakin cut hair
correctly have a job? I mean C-man went to get a haircut
Monday(yes the day he was supposed to start school) and
they butchered the hell out of his precious hair. It is one
thing to get a bad haircut, but I think on a child it's worse
especially in today's society. My child is going(for real) to
start his new prep-school tomorrow & he has a jacked up
haircut. Mr. Dallas K kept calling him "Chili Bowl" today. I mean
come on how in the hell can you work @ a place cutting kids
hair probaly 10 times a day & get such a crappy haircut?!!!!
Isn't that like in beauty school 101. ERRRRRR!!!!

C-man's leaving me.

2006-02-26T21:12:00.000-08:00

Well I finally did it. I enrolled my oldest son
in school part-time. Tomorrow I'll be a
basket case, luckily my good friend Kami
will be going w/me to get through dropping
off my baby. I've struggled w/the ideal of taking
him because I felt that he was too young & I felt
like a failure as a parent for sending him to school
part-time & not @ home w/me. Daddy & I have
disagreed about it for over a year. I finally said I
think he needs to go because my child is FEARLESS
and gets bored quite a bit. I just want him to be
challenged more than he is & get to do some things
that he may be missing due to younger sibling. People
keep telling me it's good for him & me. Why have I been
crying all weekend then? I don't know if I'll be able to sleep.

Oh and this WTF is all this paperwork? Is this normal?
I've filled out over a dozen forms. Consent to use wipe their
ass, no biting, to give saline drops, to view video(hello like
they're gonna show inappropriate crap). I was supposed to
even get a notary to sign stuff, SHIT!. Oh and I even have to have
a doctors note for OTC meds. BLAH BLAH BLAH, have that many
schools been sued? In todays society is it all about compliance?
They may even need blood.LOL

Why?

2006-02-25T20:47:00.000-08:00

Today I went to a friend of mine's kiddos birthday.
Actually we call her Adayn(my one year olds) girlfriend.
Seriously, she loves him, always kisses on him. Well
there were two women there that I guess weren't very
fond of me. They kept giving me the up & down look.
The one lady let her boys who were probaly 5+ yell
@ my 2 1/2 year old being really shitty. Then the other
one who had been looking bitchy @ me the whole party
was leaving & her & her daughter kept the back door
open letting my Adayn almost get out. Well my ass went
running only to fall fucking hard on my ass, hurting my
wrist bad. They kept the door open.

The other day I was w/Kamster @ Target & had one of those
big ass carts so both my boys could sit in. Although C-man
walked w/Nik the whole time. Well I got so many stares & even
comments like"OMG I can't believe she would have her baby in there
like that". WTF Hi!!!

I've lived in Texas since I was in third grade & let me tell you
women are fucking caddy bitches. I guess that's why I havn't
had a girl friend until recently.

My point is this WHY the fuck are women so mean & critical of
other women. My neighborhood is full of stuck-up bitches.
I mean I go to the park w/my neighbor. Most of the women talk
to him, but they give me the fuck you look.

Listen we aren't enemies. I don't want your man!!! Just be fucking
courtious GAWD!!

Title

2006-02-25T08:22:00.000-08:00

Ok as some of you already know I still am a virgin
@ blogging. I still have many issues to figure
out, especially on this Mac. I would like opinions
on my title please:

Butterflies Peace
Tink's Wink's
Tink's Paradise
Butterflies & Fairies

or other thoughts

Cancer

2006-02-24T21:14:00.000-08:00

Why can't we find a cure? Have ya'll heard?

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200602/s1578376.htm

"Approximately one in seven American women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime and more than two million Americans are living with breast cancer today," Crow said. "I am joining the more than 200,000 women who will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year."

He's the man

2006-02-23T22:14:00.000-08:00

I've always loved Harrison Ford ever since I was a kid.
I still remember going to the theatre & watching
"Raiders of the Lost Arc". Anyway, tonight we went
and saw Firewall. No it's not anywhere near as good
as Patriot Games but I liked it. He's in my top two
male actors.

College

2006-02-21T14:38:00.000-08:00

Ok I'm no saint, nor prude. However, this kinda
shocked me a little bit. Maybe it's just me. I mean
we had sex-education & in college took Anthropology
which opened my eyes to traditions in some cultures
that would not be ok in our culture(At least the
half-sane people). However, this caught my eye
and I wondered is it me or is this a bit much?

http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/education/7162794/detail.html

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

2006-02-20T05:44:00.000-08:00

Today is Kami's birthday(otherwise known as Mrs. Dallas K).
Let's all wish her a Happy Birthday. I'm sure they had several
drinks this weekend in celebration. I have to get more pictures
of my friend, she usually is taking the pictures @ the events we
go to. I'm usually the one running after my active kiddos, so not
much time for snapping. Happy Birthday to you longhorn MILF.

Happy Valentines Day!

2006-02-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

Re-gift

2006-02-13T09:22:00.000-08:00

Ok I'm still having some computer issues
so I may be slow to start. However, I have
a question. Is it rude to re-gift? What if
@ your kiddos birthday they received three of the
same toy and it was easier to re-gift than
to return. What if you didn't really like the gift
a family member gave you for Christmas and didn't
want to hurt their feelings so you gave it to someone
else. Or someone from work gave you alcohol you
couldn't stand and another collegue loved so you
put back in the bag.

So I ask you this:
Is it ok to re-gift?
Why or why not?